Plants Make You Happy!

Posted by Vintage Style Living 05/29/2018 5 Comment(s)

The Benefits of Artificial Plants

 

You know what is proven to make you happy? Plants.

 

You know what is unproven but very likely to make you unhappy? Dead plants.

 

The line between the two is incredibly fine, however. One day, your home could be a thriving botanical garden, and the next, a desolate wasteland. Let’s face it, plants are a little like bad boyfriends: they’re hard to understand, and can turn on you at the drop of a hat. I have an orchid that I received as a gift and regard it with the same suspicion as I would an attractive suitor. I’m happy it’s there but know it’s too pretty to stick around for long.

 

Save yourself the pain and sorrow of losing something – or someone – you love, and instead, opt for artificial plants. The artificial and silk plants at Vintage Style Living are just as lovely and relaxing as their real counterparts, but will never wilt, shrivel, droop, or leave you for your friend who teaches CrossFit.

  • In case you still think that artificial plants are poor imitations of the real things, check out this impressive large leaf philodendron silk plant. Standing over five feet tall, this beauty is a comforting presence, and probably more cuddly than your old BF, who claimed to have a fear of intimacy whenever you went in for a kiss.

  •  If you’re seeking to tame nature, rather than lose yourself in it, take a look at this dieffenbachia in a gorgeous white ceramic urn. This is another large plant, but this one creates an atmosphere of quiet luxury and makes you feel like a beautiful princess, rather than a worthless servant.

  • This boxwood topiary will stay alive forever, and will never need a trim. Your boyfriend may have spent an hour every morning getting his hair just right, but he was still never this sleek looking.

  • Not only can you add everlasting green to your home, you can also splash gorgeous pops of floral color around your spaces. This mixed peony and berry wreath brings energy and vitality into your home, rather than negativity, narcissism, and complaints about his boss who keeps passing him up for promotions.
     

  • I love this Mediterranean fern wall panel. It’s modern, and functions as both a work of art and a slice of nature indoors. You can use it to cover up any unattractive cracks, stains or blemishes in your house, which is far easier than trying to cover up the massive personality defects in your boyfriend.
     

  • Ah, the orchid. A symbol of beauty and delicacy, but also of frivolity and obsession. This beautiful speckled Phalaenopsis orchid luckily only possesses the positive of those qualities. Put it on your windowsill, and enjoy a plant that is never passive-aggressive, self-absorbed, petty, or petulant, in the peaceful quiet of the apartment you finally kicked your boyfriend out of.
     

If your real plants keep disappointing you, it might be time to consider an artificial plant. You need stability in your life. You need a plant that will be there for you no matter what. You deserve better than to be made to feel like a failure all the time. Buy a plant that will love you back.

 


 

Bailey Holtz is a comedian and writer based in Chicago. She performs at iO, and sketch at The Second City. Her writing has been featured on The Second City Network.

 

She’s a graduate of the Harold Ramis Film School, the world’s only comedy-specific film program. She recently wrote, produced, and starred in a short film entitled Jammy Spaceplace!. She has a penchant-turned-love-turned-obsession for 1960s and 70s pop culture.

 

Find her work at baileyholtz.com

5 Comment(s)

Sandy Klocinski:
08/02/2018, 05:44:54 PM
Reply

I have one fake plant in a place where I needed something taller, but a real plant wouldn't grow. As long as you keep them to a minimum and keep them clean, I think they look just fine.

Dana Edwards:
08/03/2018, 08:06:21 AM
Reply

I just wish there was an easier way to have artificial plants in the home without so much dust accumulation.

Rosanne:
08/09/2018, 02:03:39 AM
Reply

Live plants are very hard to keep alive so it is nice to have the look of plants

Holly Thomas:
08/23/2018, 05:28:54 PM
Reply

I have never liked artificial plants, wreaths or Christmas Trees.

Carol Yemola:
08/25/2018, 10:56:54 PM
Reply

That rose wreath is gorgeous. Roses are my favorite flower.

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